first day on a new chapter

well where can i start? work was awesome! the place was awesome, the people were nice, and we have free coffee!

i honestly didnt expect that my first job would be this grand. our office is at the 10th floor of the Prism plaza in Mall of Asia and i can see everything~ the sea, the buildings, night lights, and the sunset was pretty much eye candy for me. unfortunately i cant post any pictures because phones were prohibited inside the office. maaaaybe i can sneak in my phone someday to post pictures of it, because honestly that view is just breathtaking.

the facilities looked nice, we have sleeping quarters--but i guess thats expected if youre a call center company and you want to ensure the safety of your employees. but what got me is the gaming room, we have an xbox! can you believe it~ i can actually continue my career in assassins creed hahaha, granted i find the time to.

first day of training started yesterday and im looking forward to the incoming days.

it would be perfect if my boyfriend could join me. i still hope he could.

turn a page on a new chapter

this wont be a continuation of my story but a short update. 

i start work tomorrow! yaaay. well, training really. my shift begins at 5pm but i have no idea what time im going out. probably early morning. anyway, this is the start of a new chapter of my life. i got this mixed feeling of dread and excitement. eitherway, its about time i move on with my life.

so with that said, im gonna go lie down now and take some rest. not sure if im gonna fall asleep though. maybe later.

thats all~ wish me luck.

a shadow in winter .02

She knew it very well.

Liath wasn’t always a faery, in a sense. Yes she was born one, a full-blooded faerie from the Unseelie Court. However, by the time of her birth, taking changelings from the human world were still a popular practice then, not so much now. It was unfortunate—or fortunate, I don’t know—that Liath was one of the chosen ones to be exchanged for a human child. Her changeling had long died, back in the Unseelie Court. Unlike her, her changeling knew from the moment she gained memories that she didn’t belong in the Court, that she was human. However, she showed no desire to come back to her world. Such is the fate of the Thralls. Some call it a gift, but Liath saw it as a curse. Most humans enter a state of enthrallment once they step into the Fae domain. They were consumed of what they saw, of how Fae lived, stripping them of any desire to return to their home. She saw it to be lonely, honestly speaking.

She on the other hand, hadn’t always lived in Faerie. She had lived seventeen human years on the other side of the veil, believing herself to be a normal human being—though she had always been uneasy that something was amiss. Liath wondered if she hadn’t been exchanged, if she would feel as lonely as she was and with a desire to live a human life.

While Liath had been her real name, she had another name while she lived with the humans. Fraulein, she was once called. It was the only thing about that life that she could remember. The faces of the people she once called parents as well as their name had been forgotten and the world that she lived in had changed so much that the memories of her home had eventually disappeared. She knew she was given to a wealthy family of stature and title. Her real parents made it so. She was given to a family that could support her and benefit her needs. She could vaguely remember the dresses and lights that surrounded her life then. But it had been so long ago that when she tried to sit down and try to remember a certain memory, even at random, it turned into mist before she can catch it.

Her human life ended when Xaedh came to her one winter night. It was at that point her memories began, vivid and unforgettable.

“The one born in winter will be given away, and as the seventeenth moon completes, the birthright that was taken will be restored once more under the same winter sky.”

Those were the words he said—words that didn’t mean to her then. It was that same night that she was presented everything about the Fae. Her parents were there too, their faces were the only blurry thing against the vividness of that memory. She couldn’t see their reactions, their expressions. She didnt know whether they were happy to be rid of her or if they were sad to see her go. She could only remember them releasing their hold on her, telling her that they understand that her fate wasn’t to stay in the human world.

They gave her the name Liath—her birth name.

“They will be compensated.” Xaedh had said then. She would later find out that after she was brought back to Faerie, her human parents were given an immense wealth as payment for their service as well as their silence. Her changeling, the real Fraulein, was given back to her parents, but she had heard gossips that the girl eventually lost her mind in desire to return to Faerie. She wasn’t sure what happened then—if she was taken back or not. It was rumored that Fraulein's parents, her parents, were surprised to find out they had a real daughter, making Liath wonder whether they were thralled to forget about their daughter in order for Liath to take her place. That night was the last time that she ever saw her human parents. But it was also then the loneliness began, whether she was aware of it or not. It didn’t make sense to her how she could be lonely when she didn’t remember her human life.

It didn’t change the fact however, that just like Fraulein was to Faerie, she had an attachment to the human world that she didn’t understand, and while some Fae in the Unseelie court knew of it, none of them spoke it out loud. Somehow, it still made Liath feel incomplete.

TBC.

a shadow in winter .01

It was her time of the year. It was beautiful--when the harshness of the world were covered and softened by pure white snow. However, beautiful that it was, it was also cold, even deadly. 

She walked through the city garden--it was a little past midnight and people were starting to leave the park, huddled in their sweaters and knitted scarfs. It was almost Christmas, she believed. A holiday she didnt concern herself with. In fact, she cared very little for human holidays. Nevertheless, she admitted that the humans did well in turning the park into a beautiful garden. The trees were mostly covered in soft, newly fallen snow, but aside from that, wrapped around each tree was a vine of blinking lights. Their reflection glowed against the snow, turning the place into an almost ethereal state. Much like she was.

She looked up at the sky as it started snowing. She reached out and caught a few flakes in her hand--it almost blended into her skin, reminding her of what she was. She turned her head around and caught herself reflected in one of the cafe's windows--a reflection noone else would see. 

Her hair was long, flowing, and white, almost with a shade of blue, that reached down past her waist. She was pale--very much so, a shade of pale not present in any human. Her lips were dry, a pale blue that cracked at the edges. And her eyes were winter blue--a bright blue, but cold. Much like the rest of her--nevertheless, she was beautiful, she knew that--but it was a harsh kind of beauty.

She was no human. She could pass as one if she chose, but not tonight. She had dropped her glamour for tonight and walked among humans invisibly.

Her kind goes by many names but they were more known as the Fae. There was a time when humans acknowledged their existence, once they were even thought of as gods and goddesses. But as time went on, humans evolved and forgot them and turned them into myths and bedside stories. Humans, whose life were but a blink to the fae managed to evolve while they, whose lives neared what humans call as immortal, stayed as they were more than a millennia ago. Constant, never changing. It was ironic really, whereas they were once referred to as the guardians of the earth, when earth itself changed its seasons year after year. 

This was why she chose to spend most of her time in this side of the veil. The ever-changing lifestyle of humans both amused and saddened her. While she can choose to appear human every now and then, she knew she would never be part of them. The reflection she saw now reminded her of that. If she so choose to appear to humans as she was, she would either be rejected or worshiped--and she wanted neither. She wanted to be part of them.

"I see youre here again."

The voice came from the shadows behind the trees, a voice she was increasingly becoming familiar with. Even still, she was unsure whether this was a welcome change or not.

"And you."

There was no one else in the park besides them two--but it didnt matter, should one pass by the park at this time, they would see nothing but shadows and trees, unaware of the exchange of the two from beyond the veil.

He stepped out from the shadows, appearing before her with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. She wasnt entirely sure if it was genuine or with a hint of mockery. If she was pale, this man lived the shadows. While she was dressed in clothing that didnt belong to this side, he dressed in clothes that were human made, despite this however, he still looked far from human. Just like her, he was too beautiful to pass for one.

"Why are you here?"

He merely shrugged and walked off, though he stopped not too far from her, his back facing her. "You know why. But since I know you dont like hearing what Im here to say, I'll give you a different reason. I grow bored of the Court so I decided to take a walk." 

She held her ground, refusing to walk after him despite her senses telling her otherwise. Instead, she crossed her arms in an attempt to restrain herself.

"You cannot just walk away from your duty. It is your Court after all."

"And yours."

"You know what I mean Xaedh."

"And you know what I mean as well." For a moment there was silence until Xaedh laughed, shaking his head. "Your eyes really do flash when youre frustrated. It's like a small burst of light you know. It's unfortunate really, that you cant see them when you do." 

The temperature in the garden suddenly dropped as Liath's frustration rose, earning herself an amused chuckle from Xaedh.

"Talk about cold. Bad day I guess?"

"You should know."

Xaedh only gave her a smile as a response before bowing in front of her. "In that case, I shall see you in the Otherside." Upon straightening up, Xaedh's face turned serious. "You really should come home."

Liath was the one to turn her back this time, moving her hands to rub at her arms despite not being affected by the weather that surrounded them, in fact, she did this to comfort herself in the familiar coldness.

"One day, maybe."

"You cant stay away forever."

She felt it when he left, blending once more into the shadows that he came from. Liath then sighed in resignation, allowing herself to finally give in to the weakness she felt whenever Xaedh came to this side to visit her.

"I know."

TBC.

a key on the bedside

... It was a familiar touch. "..I know you. In a dream I had years ago." ...

Clothes had been discarded long before this memory started. What remained now were the smooth movements from where bedsheets slid against bare skin. The only light that entered the room came from the moon, flowing like water between the blinds that hung by the window, illuminating the scene in liquid light. Gentle, mysterious, beguiling. 

 She pressed her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes, sighing, just a hint of smile tugging on the corners of her lips. She loved him. She loved where she was. She loved hearing his heart beat against her ear, his chest raise against her cheek with every breath he took. She could forget what awaited them in the world outside that room, for in that moment, only the two of them existed. Secrets exchanged under the knowing presence of the moon.

Fingers slipped inbetween fingers. Feeling and remembering. Another deep breath. She lifted herself off him for a moment and looked at him, trying to make out what she could in the dark. She could make out his face from the shadows and knew he stared right back at her. A quiet chuckle escaped her lips as she moved her hand into his cheek, her fingers pressing against his face gently, moving to trace his lips--lips which he parted to kiss her finger. At that moment, with that small gesture, her heart sped. For a moment it was unbearable. She closed her eyes again and lowered her head against him once more, this time burying her face against his neck. She could feel his fingers at the back of her neck, her hair slipping between his fingers. 

This time, it was him who took a deep breath. She pulled away for a moment, wondering.

"Give me your lips."

It wouldnt be the first time, far from it even. Still, she found herself shying away--temporarily. It was this moment where she always stumbled. But it would only last for a moment, she would lean in, part her lips for him and accept him as she always did.

The way he held her would change then. Gentle touches turned firm, neither refusing to let go. Often she would pull away, gasping for breath--everything about him took her away. He would lift her away from reality too fast that she needed to ground herself for a moment, only to return into his arms once more where she knew she would lose herself over and over again. 

The room would soon lose its liquid gentleness, heated shadows replacing it in the process. 

"My name. Say my name."

She would, by heavens, she would if she could. But what only left her lips were half-hearted attempts, her breath leaving her before she could say his name. Instead she tried to convey the message to him by holding unto him as tight as she could. Her fingers would slip, sometimes they dug into his skin, leaving unintended marks.  

What came after that was a moment of blank consciousness. Of simply being. At that moment she existed for nothing else. She would reach out to him, to hold on to what kept her in that reality.  

For a moment. A moment more. 

Just one more touch.